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Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Telephone Therapy

Let me begin by saying today is Wednesday 8th June. The importance of the day, not so much the date, will become clear as you read this blog.

I look forward to regular phone calls with my aunt in Scotland. She is my mother's sister, and as sadly I no longer have my mum I feel this connection is very important. This is by no means a duty call, we have always been close, and I really enjoy our chats. We can discuss everything from the weather, cooking, exchange family gossip and even talk of what happens when we get too old to look after ourselves, which is hopefully a long long way off. It is good to have someone who shares views, and opinions and when I have a good old moan she listens, sympathises and then we move on. It is a bit like unconditional friendship.

These calls are really a form of therapy, and I think if more of us had someone to chat and open up to less of us would actually need a real therapist. Sadly people today don't take the time to sit down and just chat about everything going on in their lives. Maybe because of the fear of being thought weak, of not being able to cope or of just being a moaner, or they feel they just don't have the time.

Make the time...... It needs a special person to be fulfill the perfect conditions of these chats and I am so grateful to have someone who fulfills the roll for me. It is a two way street and we are always there for each other. We laugh together, cry together, sympathise and make no demands on each other. I think it is almost a perfect recipe for friendship.

However as we are all busy, my aunt being no exception, We have to carefully schedule the calls. Mondays are out, she visits her son, Tuesday she meets friends for coffee, but afternoon are okay, except every second one when the library van turns up. Thursday is her day for the hairdresser. So as you can see I am often confused as to the best time to call. And we do find a few weeks can go by with messages being left on answer machines. But eventually we always connect.

So today, I was geared up to the call. I made my coffee and sat down for or chat. In my mind I was thinking it was late enough for her to be home from the hairdressers, lunch should be over and there was still time before the library van turned up.

I dialled the number and my luck was in. I started by saying I was lucky to get in between hair and books. She seemed bewildered and said hair was Thursday library Tuesday, and that today was Wednesday! We laughed at my perfect mistiming as I was indeed between two appointments, just I had thought it was Thursday and had mixed up her library day.

This prompted a conversation of our memories failing as we get older but I think it was purely a mistake and that her schedule is so full have trouble keeping up with it. And I'm sticking to that!!

I hope I am as busy and fulfilled when I am her age in another 25 years or so.

My philosophy is age is a state of mind and I have so many friends who prove me so right.

So I will continue with these calls, share a coffee as we chat, because you never know when the day will come when this luxury is taken away.

So if you have someone special like this in your life make time for them, cherish whatever time you share with them and never make demands or criticize, special friendships are few and far between and should be treated well.

I hope you are as lucky as I am and have someone who puts no pressure on you to be nothing other than what you are, and accepts you for, or even inspite of it.

Go on make a call, make someone happy.

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